If you’re in one of those days when you miss your ex and think of getting back together, hold that thought. Remember why you guys broke up, because that will let you know if getting back together is even a smart idea. More importantly, it’ll make you realize or remind you that going your separate ways was for the best. Here are the signs that it actually was:
1. You were unhappy on most days
You may have loved him a lot and passionately, and he may have loved you too. But if you were unhappy with him 70 to 90 percent of the time, maybe because you showed and interpreted love differently, why will you go back? You’re on your own now and you can do so many great things that’ll lift your spirits. Getting back together with him might just be signing up for more toxicity and drama. Sometimes, people are just really incompatible no matter how much they love each other—or think they do.
2. You guys fought a lot
I know what you’re thinking: You and your ex were naive hence the fights! You’d know better now! Maybe so. But chances are that in the few months that have passed, either you or he is still the same. What if the fights were caused by something other than immaturity? Like you disapproving of his lifestyle and arguing about why he has to go out so many times with his friends and hardly with you. Or how he can’t seem to try being warm to your parents. Again, you’d be signing up for unhappiness if you get together with a stubborn him.
3. You couldn’t be yourself around him
If this was the case, girl, move on and never look back! You’re able to be true to yourself now and you have the chance to find someone who’ll love you as you are, so why settle for less? Of course, you can tell yourself that you know better now, and that you’ll still be yourself if you happen to get back together with your ex. But what if he does or says things—intentionally or not—that make you feel bad about being you—as he has in the past? The thing about loving someone and opening yourself up to him is that you let him influence you. So to keep yourself from trying to be another person for him—and for you to be happy about being you—move forward!
4. You couldn’t trust him, or he couldn’t trust you
Trust goes both ways. One should have been able to give it and the other shouldn’t have abused it. It’s difficult to win a person’s trust back. It’ll take a lot of wooing, assuring, and proving oneself. And a lot of time. Sometimes there’s no guarantee that trust can be given again—and love can’t exist without trust. (And just think about how much you’d be choking each other!)
5. There’s this new guy who makes you happy behind your wildest dreams
Breakups are of course a cause of sadness, but not for a very long time. They happen because of some irreconcilable differences or irresolvable issues, and one or both of you just wanted out. And going your separate ways means letting each other love different people and be happy with them. So if you’ve found a guy who’s made you unimaginably happy, go for it.