No conversation at work produces more anxiety than telling your boss you’re pregnant. Even quitting may be easier! Since nerves make it tough to keep even important details in mind, here are 4 tips to help you break the news:
1. Tell your boss first — even if you’re close friends with your colleagues
While you’re understandably distracted by the excitement and nerves that come with bringing a new little life into the world, controlling your message is very important. After all, you may understandably fear that your boss or colleagues will treat you differently — and not in a good way — after your news. That’s all the more reason to deliver the news to your boss, yourself. You want see their immediate reaction because it will tell you a lot about his/her attitude towards working moms, your ability to negotiate maternity leave and any other things you may be interested in (e.g. a different work-schedule or flexibility options).
2. Consider your timing
Most women tell their employer that they’re pregnant sometime around the end of their first trimester or in the early part of their second trimester. That’s partially because the risk of miscarriages is significantly reduced. This timing also corresponds with when many women start to “show”.
That said, if you have an important deal, project or performance review, you may want to consider telling your manager afterwards if you’re worried about how they will take the news. Just be careful about waiting too long – you don’t want to become fodder for office gossip!
3. Know your basic benefits and rights
It never hurts to do your homework about both your company’s maternity leave policy, and your basic maternity leave rights. You don’t have to become an expert, but we believe its helpful to be familiar with the basics. You will feel much more confident if you walk into this sensitive conversation with some knowledge under your belt.
If you have already decided that you will not be returning after maternity leave, or that you plan on negotiating a different work schedule during your post-maternity-leave return, having a clear understanding of your rights and company policies is even more important.
4. Don’t be nervous
We know its easier said than done. Working moms everywhere worry about being judged as uncommitted to their careers, or being taken less seriously on the “mommy track”. These perceptions play out in subtle ways and while they are real, you should hold your head up high.
First, those biases are largely out of your control so you should try not to waste too much energy worrying about them. Second, you should aspire to communicate confidence about the upcoming change in your life regardless of how uncertain you may actually feel.
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