Everyone has pet peeves, those little things that happen that aren’t big enough to require much of your effort, but come up to annoy you again and again when you least expect it. It could be people leaving a mess in the office kitchen or constantly interrupting when you are on phone calls.
Whatever the annoyance, those little stings to your brain can make you less productive every time they occur, and eventually add up to big headaches. We don’t want that to happen, so we have prepared some tips for you to cope and eliminate your pet peeves.
1. Acknowledge the existence of a pet peeve
Rather than deny you are irritated by the slower driver in the left lane, acknowledge your reaction. Denial may lead to increased stress on your body and state of mind. Become fully aware of the moment and listen to the stress the irritation is causing. Only when something is acknowledged can it then be treated and resolved.
2. Resist the urge to vent
Venting over a situation is not the same as resolving a situation. When we vent, we tend to stay in the negative moment and bring up even more negative thoughts and triggers. Venting can become a habit just like the reaction to the pet peeve. In addition, venting can intensify the feelings of the pet peeve and cause even more stress, frustration and irritation.
3. Understand the deeper meaning
Because our pet peeves are so personal to each of us, they can become a lingering habit and something known and familiar which can be hard to let go. The resolution of these negative thoughts requires change and conscious thought – two things that exist outside of our comfort zones. So, we may unknowingly cling to our pet peeves because of old insecurities. Again, not only acknowledge the presence of a pet peeve, but also get in touch with the fact the pet peeve is an extension of an old tape playing in your head. This old tape, which may be telling you are not good enough or inadequate, can be replaced with the truth.
4. Know it’s not personal
OK, the driver in the left lane, the one with his head up his you know what, is really not determined to make my head explode – it can just feel that way at times. Remember our pet peeves belong to us; we own them. Therefore, become aware your personal irritation does not fester into damaging anger or retaliation against another person.
5. Find a healthy release
Tailgating the slower car in front is not going to help you nor will it make the person go faster. Instead, take a breath, go for a walk or listen to some relaxing music. The point is not to react when you are most irritated.
6. Understand the rest of the story
No matter the issue or circumstance in life, there is always “the rest of the story” to be considered. When Mary Beth is running late, it’s not because she is being rude on purpose or is disregarding the need to be punctual, but often it’s because something has kept her from being on time in the first place. It could be an appointment with a patient ran late, or she received an important phone call, or she was helping Emily (her daughter) get ready first. Before you allow a pet peeve to cause unnecessary stress, seek to gain a better understanding of the rest of the story.
7. Make a heart connection
Even though we all have different pet peeves we are all alike in the sense we have pet peeves. Therefore, show grace, compassion and understanding when someone triggers you with a pet peeve.
Avoid the temptation to engage in road rage-like behavior with the slower driver ahead of you or with the tailgater behind you. Instead, find the right time to pass or move out of the way. Smile, extend a helping hand and understand the source of the pet peeve is more about you clinging to a perception or some old baggage than it is about someone trying to disadvantage you.
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