You want to be with the love of your life forever, and he with you, so always make your marriage a top priority (as in every day!). Here are some easy and fun ways to keep improving an already awesome partnership. Even if you’re not married yet, you can start practicing these tips to enjoy your relationship even more throughout the wedding-planning process.
Grooms and husbands, hold onto this list as well — these rules apply to you, too!
1. Exercise more!
It’s important to work out — no, not to be a size 0 so your hubby finds you attractive, but so that you feel your best. Newlyweds who exercise have more self-confidence while clothed or naked, enjoy mood-boosting hormones and are less likely to experience depression.
2. Talk about your early days of dating
Rather than bringing up the past in a wistful sense (“why don’t we ever do that anymore…”), express appreciation for all the ways that your spouse has helped you. For example, you could say something like, “I was just thinking about that romantic dinner you planned by the fireplace on our third date. That was really wonderful.” It’s an ego boost for him and it shows that you value his best efforts.
3. Give your spouse alone time with his pals
Even if your husband’s friends love you, there are still some events he’ll be invited to — like going to an NBA game — as a guy’s night out. Don’t make him feel guilty about leaving you home alone by pouting and checking in with him constantly while he’s out (and yes, guys do this too!). Maintaining separate social lives and being supportive of one another boosts your marriage.
4. Touch as often as possible
Hold hands. Touch your husband on the arm when you’re both making your morning coffee. Place your hand on his cheek when he kisses you good night. Think about these little points of contact as love “marks” that stay with him throughout the day. The physical contact creates happy hormone oxytocin, and non-sexual physical contact keeps you feeling adored by each other.
5. Fight fairly
Avoid using absolutes like “always” or “never” to accuse your spouse when you’re revved up and kind of irrational during a particularly bad argument (i.e. “You never listen to me”). Within the argument, establish a “take it back” code whenever either of you says something you don’t truly mean.
6. Cook together
Make it an occasional treat to prep a new meal together. The sensory experience of cooking and co-creating a fabulous, romantic dish or snack is way better than popping some toaster tarts in the oven.
7. Be financially responsible
Money is one of the top marriage stressors, especially in these challenging financial times. You both need the security of knowing that you’re each paying bills on time, and not making unnecessary purchases. Create a joint account for bills but also keep separate accounts for your own play money, and, of course, make sure you’re both socking away some money in your savings to contribute towards shared future goals. Most importantly, be financially honest with one another, no matter what.
8. Speak well of each other
If you vent to your friends or family members about a fight you had with your husband, they may not forgive him, even after you’ve forgiven and forgotten. It’s a betrayal to trash-talk your spouse to others, even if he made you really mad. Your personal issues need to stay personal so that you don’t create problems in your social and family circle that will only grow worse over time.
9. Don’t stall on each other’s request
Life is hectic, but if your partner asks you to look up something online or find a piece of paperwork for him, make it a high priority to do so as soon as humanly possible. When you show your spouse that his requests are important to you and you value his needs, that makes your partnership even stronger.
10. Accept that you’ll both have bratty moments
Sometimes when we’re stressed, we get snappy. It happens to everyone, and that ultra-bratty response may even be a surprise to you. So if your spouse replies with a terse comment, don’t pull the pin on a big fight grenade. Just accept it as a sign that he’s stressed and not able to respond more maturely at the moment.
11. Divvy up chores
Division of labor in a marriage is something that marriage counselors handle a lot with couples who are having trouble. You can avoid resentments by simply talking to each other about which household projects you want to take on. Maybe you’re okay with killing the spiders and taking out the trash, and he’s fine with vacuuming.
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