My husband and I continually have this debate and I don’t think that anyone can give me a ‘correct’ answer on what to do. I have been a stay at home mom for three years now, since my second child was born. It has been an absolute blessing and at times a curse. I LOVE being home with the kids and being there for all of the new things they do as they go through baby stage from rolling, sitting, crawling, walking and talking. I have been able to nurse my two youngest children almost exclusively for the first year of their lives. These things are absolute blessings and I realize how very lucky I am to be able to stay home and have my husband support us financially. But it’s not all rainbows and butterflies staying home with three kids! It’s probably the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. It is my job to take care of the home and raise the kids. The problem is that I never get a break from it, it is a 24/7 job. I have given up my life 100 percent. I don’t hang out with my friends, I don’t have a career, I don’t have the finances to just go pamper myself and get away either. So with all the blessings have come many difficulties.
I think the answer for me personally was to find a balance. I needed to work, I needed a job and to use my brain and I needed some time away from the kids and they from me. I found part time work that I was able to do from home. BUT I was not able to stay home with the kids and still get my work done. I was making enough money to hire a babysitter for a few hours a few days a week while I could go out and do my work. I also made time to get some chores done while the kids were with the sitter. For me this balanced our lives. I was getting away while making money and not just spending it! But I also am still home with the kids and able to take them to school and attend all of their events!
This balance has worked for me, though I still look forward to the day that all the kids are in school and potentially starting a career of my own at that time, but who knows what the future holds. I don’t think there is a right answer and I don’t think the stay at home mom works harder or is better than the working mom. Every person is different and has to find what works for them emotionally, physically and financially. Some women are able to be better mothers when they get time away from their kids and then get to be so happy to see them when they get home from work. Some mothers are able to stay home and love it and it’s their life. There is no debate here, it’s just whatever works for you and your family.
Good luck!
With Love,
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